Loving someone in addiction recovery is a unique journey—one filled with growth, hope, and, let’s be honest, moments where you wonder if you accidentally signed up for a full-time emotional support job. (Spoiler alert: You didn’t.) While your love and support are invaluable, there’s a fine line between being a partner and becoming a caretaker. And trust us, that line is worth paying attention to—because crossing it can lead to burnout, resentment, and an unhealthy dynamic for both of you. Support vs. Caretaking: What’s the Difference? Imagine you’re walking alongside your partner on their recovery journey. Being a supportive partner means you’re there to encourage, listen, and cheer them on. Being a caretaker means you’re dragging them up the mountain on your back while they nap. Exhausting, right? Here’s a simple breakdown:
Signs You’ve Slipped into Caretaking Mode If any of these sound familiar, you might be shouldering more than your fair share: 1. You’re more invested in their recovery than they are. 2. You feel responsible for their choices, moods, or setbacks. 3. You rearrange your life to keep them on track. 4. Your own well-being takes a backseat to their needs. 5. You feel anxious or guilty when focusing on yourself. If you’re nodding along, take a deep breath—this doesn’t mean you’re a bad partner. It just means it’s time to rebalance. How to Be a Partner Without Becoming a Caretaker 1. Support, Don’t Save It’s hard to watch someone you love struggle, but their recovery is ultimately their responsibility. Instead of fixing their problems, ask: “How can I support you?” This shifts the responsibility back to them while showing you care. 2. Set (and Stick to) Boundaries Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re guideposts for healthy relationships. Ask yourself: What am I willing to do, and what crosses the line for me? Maybe you’re okay with attending support meetings together but not okay with constantly monitoring their schedule. Be clear about your limits, and honour them. 3. Take Care of Yourself, Too You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make time for your own well-being—whether that’s therapy, hobbies, exercise, or a night out with friends where you get to be the one venting over coffee. Your needs matter just as much as theirs. 4. Let Go of Guilt It’s not selfish to have your own life. It’s not cruel to say no. And it’s not your job to make their recovery process smooth and painless. Loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself. 5. Encourage Professional Help While you can be a source of love and encouragement, you’re not a therapist, sponsor, or addiction specialist (unless, of course, you actually are one—but even then, your role in their life is different). Encourage them to seek professional support so the weight of their recovery doesn’t rest solely on your shoulders. The Takeaway Loving someone in recovery is a balancing act, but you’re allowed to set boundaries, prioritize yourself, and still be an incredible source of support. You’re a partner, not a superhero—and that’s more than enough. If you’re struggling to find that balance, therapy can help. At True Living Counselling & Coaching, we support both individuals in recovery and their loved ones. Because a healthy, thriving relationship starts with two healthy, thriving individuals. Need support? Let’s talk. Book a session today—your well-being matters, too. All of our therapists are trained to support those in recovery, but we also have an addiction specialist (Gail) who would be happy to connect with you.
0 Comments
|
AuthorsTrue Living Counselling & Coaching Inc Archives
February 2025
Categories
All
|